I’m not sure anyone could possibly understand what it’s like to get such a scary diagnosis, never mind getting one during the peak of COVID and having to experience everything alone. No one could accompany me to my pre-op appointment. No one could walk me into my surgery. My husband drove me to the front of the hospital and we kissed goodbye like it was an airport terminal and I was leaving for war. We cried – a lot. And I was so angry.
I didn’t want to have to be alone with my thoughts and I had no choice. Having to walk those long white hospital hallways alone was horrible and I hated everything COVID had taken from me. I was alone, and I shouldn’t have had to be alone. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful support system of family and friends who would have come with me to the important appointments, and COVID took that away.
I had such a hard time remembering everything all the doctors said because my brain wasn’t fully functioning, I was scared, overwhelmed and alone. One thing that helped was that the doctors suggested we use FaceTime so my family could be there to hear what the doctors were saying. That helped.
We also scheduled as many appointments on Zoom as possible so my husband could be with me. Getting tissue or MRI results without someone to hold your hand is a horrible experience and I couldn’t bare it. I also found friends in the hospital staff and radiology technicians who cared for me – most were very understanding of the difficulty of doing this alone, and they were happy to be a friend.
Now that restrictions have loosened, I’m hopeful things will go back to normal soon and people will be able to have their support system with them during such a difficult time.